jumbled

there are so many things brewing up in my head...sort of excited for things to come! woowoo!

study break

Okay i've been on and off studying for about 3 hours now...really on and off...i have yet to absorb any information into my brain yet, but i thought starting off i would just make the note cards...My head hurts...My eyes are puffy from lack of sleep and other external/internal factors. I feel a little miserable, confused, and tired. I dont want to do any work today, i just want to go sleep in my bed for awhile..try to so soak more information up later. i am the epitome of a lazy student. I get nothing done. I have lost focused. I've been taking things for granted. How much more will i be able to handle before i really flip my lid. ugh. atleast i get to eat some chocolate tomorrow. cant wait!

i want nothing to do with you. ever.

i miss you

My spring break this year was the best. I did everything i wanted to do (well not everything) haha but mostly everything i wanted to do with Stephen when he came to visit Troy. He got to meet the important influences in my life and my family and spend time with me at my home church. It was so much fun. It was a time period of cherishing moments and uncontrollable laughter. Im going to miss spring break. I wonder what is going to top this. Starting tomorrow its back to school mode again. Gosh sometimes i wonder if break is good at all...i mean i love the vacations and the time spent doing nothing...but its so hard to go back because my focus is so out of sync. Anyways, im sleepy...i only got like 6 hours of shut eye so im going to go lay down =D hehe bye!

8 hours?

apparently the new mac book pros can be charged up to 8 hours for use...wtf? thats a freaking long time.

ive let myself go...

this past week, i did no exercise...well since saturday that is..but i feel like a big pile. Midterms are driving me crazy..im so sleepy but im taking a break because...i do that..haha two more days technically onemore day until spring break. Gotta get through these next three exams and things will be okay...one week of play..one week of just being in bliss...i can do it..i can do it!

constellations...

so for my universe class...we had an exam about the constellations today. Im really mad at myself for not memorizing them point blank. i always prepare my materials a week before the exam...but i never really review then until the day before the exam..or hours before.what is wrong with me!? Dont i want good grades?! i really do...but why is it that i find my mind wandering somewhere else and focus on something else? Its really annoying and i hate it. I really want to do better in my classes but i feel like school is just not for me...haha well the work atleast..wow thats my true laziness talking...but seriously...what i want to do in my life i dont need to memorize the constellations. I want to travel and i want to do something real with my life with real people, not the people in my bubble. I wish i could do that. I AM SO SCARED about my future. i really am horrified about what is going to happen to me...=(

youtube

after hours of youtubing tonight...haha yes...i guess this is how i spend my nights..ordering jimmy johns, watching youtube videos and skyping with friends or boy. HA but ne ways...i was looking into it and you know what. I LOVE yo-yo ma. HES SO AWESOME. i really want to meet him one day. Honestly i feel like his career in music is mind-blowing. Someone showed me a video of him holding his cello in between his legs. He doesnt use an end pin! He's so smart and talented (from what i can see). ahh and his credentials are phenomenal...PLUS...he was on ARTHUR. i mean...thats the real deal..dont you think?!...man i aspire to be like yoyo..hes the bomb =Dhahaa

I have been procrastinating so frequently. I feel like i get no work done. My mind is not in "school" mode anymore..which is totally BAD...no HORRIBLE. I want to atleast finish with decent grades for my midterms. Im sort of mad at myself since i havent received a 4.0 on an exam yet. which BLOWS. The thing is i think i just have really bad study habits. Im not sure how to prioritize my time more wisely. For real. LIke ill sleep in on the weekend then just sit at my computer...all...day! i dont know why!...i dont even do anything...ill even skip eating because i feel like its a waste of time..so then i get hungry later...and end up ordering food...hahahah i really need to kick that before it becomes a habit. No more ordering in for realz. I cant wait to go back to troy. I feel like i havent been around in so long and it makes me sad. I want to go to church...i miss it. I actually skipped today because my phones being a piece...and it keeps shutting off at random times..so then my alarm ends up not going off which is annoying. I have to start looking into internships this summer..and figure out my life. I'm really clueless as to what i want to go into. I hate it. I hate having no direction or clue as to how im going to support myself. I dont want to depend on my parents any longer. I want to get a real job and make real money. Be independent. BLAHH i really hope i can do that...