Jane and Ashley day

SOOO finally got to hang out with Ashley! yay...she went to cancun for christmas that lucky poop. She came back last night and we spent some time v-chatting it up and playing isketch(sort of cheating on it) haha...butttt we made a video..since we havent in forever..skip it if you dont want to laugh =D

You Got Mail

Dear Friend,
I'm writing to all of you just to tell you. I am not emo. HAHA im so sorry that i come off that way. yes i have the "issues" in my life, and i probably shouldnt voice them out to the world wide web but it is what it is. There is no use in hiding my life. I want to live as a testimony to other people, so they know that...regular christians, strong faith believers do get the short end of the stick. I know i'm not happy with my life, but at the same time i'm so thankful. I apologize to all who feel uncomfortable reading what i write. I'm sure a lot of you love the random pictures/random posts(or not love)...in any case my life is not fabricated. It is short of being perfect but I try my best to get by. I want to say one thing though.
I am selfish.
I do selfish things without even noticing them. it was very Selfish of me for hating my brother, it is Selfish of me for wanting a better family life, it is Selfish of me to envy others.  I only say this because i know what it is to be humble.  I know what it is to feel Gods love even when i dont from the parents he has chosen for me.  I want to be a stronger person and grow in spirituality.  One problem though.  My pride.

I am a very proud person.  I like to show off my accomplishments, the people who i hang out with, the materialistic values i have, and the fact that i can overcome overbearing burdens.  I need to break that down.  It is not I who blessed myself with the things i am proud of.  It is God who has blessed me with all things possible in my life.  Just a thought.  A goal.  An insight of what my mind is thinking about at this very moment.

I miss Cosi smores. sigh..i guess ill just have to wait until i can make them again...
Which also leads me to why i started off my blog with Dear Friend.

Have any of you watched You Got Mail?  Starring Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks?....I love that movie.  It reminds me so much of Stephen.  HAHA yeah i know, laugh at that statement.  It's true though.  I think of him as my dearest friend that i connect mostly to through the internet/skype due to distance.  It's like writing him a letter everyday.  There's something about talking to someone though paper and when in person.  I feel when you write, you can write something deeper and you know just that "man that was good" feeling.  Like quotes, I love quotes.  The clever ones.  The deep ones.  The ones that make so much sense in one or two sentences.  I like Audrey Hepburn. Not because of her acting, but because of the things she says.  It's witty, clever, and it makes so much sense.  She sounds incredibly intelligent even though she may or may not be.  The point is.  I want to say things on paper, have people look at it and go "man that was good" and feel satisfied knowing, someone else could make sense of what i was saying.

Alrighty, well New years is almost here! WOOWOO.  We'll make a list of things later on as to what i want for the new year.

Oh BTW. i changed the layout yet again. I thought that it was time to move away from the Christmas theme since it has passed. Now its the more sophisticated Jane. hehe =D

So saturday.

Typical lazy day. things have calmed down with the family over night. Except i still feel a lot of bitterness. Lately ive been getting really weird dreams..with very random people. I dont understand why. Oh well haha...i wish i were the older sister..that would have been a lot of fun. Anyways...im off to go do Saturday things with Saturday people

toodles

The day after...

So you think Christmas might be bad, think again. The day after Christmas is the worse. Everyones exhausted about thinking for the holidays...I know this year i've thought about where my life was a year ago. My family was happier,a little more cheerful,and our circumstances werent as extreme. This year all i face is just the constant burden of what my family will do next and how ill feel about it. I'm honestly sick of what my parents do. I try to understand their part of it and i argue that they're doing the best they can. No. I realize now, my parents aren't doing their best in the right way. They aren't on their knees praying to God and asking for his blessings, they are taking things into their own hands and solemnly ruining their lives along with mine. Dramatic? I agree. I agree that my parents do the extreme in order to please their oldest son. They do whatever he wants in order to avoid one of his temper tantrums. Even if it runs them into debt. Even if it cuts down all their respects to a minimum. It disgusts me to watch my dad talk to my brother. My brother acts as if he has authority, his life is the center of the universe and it doesnt matter what it takes or what life hes going to break down in order to get what he wants. He's malicious and callous. I have so much bitterness towards him and i thought i forgave all that. I thought that i forgave all the wrong doings hes done in my life and i wanted to start a fresh again with him. There is no love left in my heart to just give away. I want to put a fortress around me so i cant get hurt anymore. He's so destructive and even though their is no physical harm towards me...all i feel is pain. I feel so stuck and frustrated and i dont know where to go, who to talk to what to say, how to explain things because all of this is so surreal. I deal with it and im going to keep on dealing with it because this is the life that God has chosen for me, for whatever reason that may be. All i want, all i truly want..is them to notice the cross. Feel the blood shed and to change their lives. I cant help it but to lose respect everyday and feel less love in my heart. I dont want to be cold. I really dont. I know my heart has the capacity to change many things. I just dont see why i cant help change the ones most dear to my life. Hopefully if i'm lucky this year, they'll remember me and maybe feel a little bit of regret of not knowing who i am. Maybe this year my parents will notice me and ask me how im doing in school. maybe this year my brother wont destruct anything in my home or break down another character trait that i love about my parents. These are my wishes. These are my prayers.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Wh does it seem that every Christmas, only the worse possible things can happen. I dont really like this season because it brings me so many burdens..and because its so "must have the christmas spirit", it's more of a let down when i know my family doesnt follow through with plans. I feel as though i am like Charlie Brown. He just never catches a break. He really doesnt. I hate sounding like a Debbie downer, but man oh man...things just dont fall into place at the times that i want them to. But then again..i promised myself i would struggle, just so i can praise God later for it. SO COME ON LIFE. WHAT ELSE DO YOU HAVE FOR ME.

Oh yeah and...
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

my toes are turning into icicles

im freezing. All i want for christmas is a heater that can be put into my room so then ill stop waking up in the middle of the night because my covers fell off

Baby its cold outside...

Ive been listening to this song all day
Con Te Partiro-Andrea Bocelli
makes me miss my voice lessons
makes me miss my friends from OU
haha only because this one time
i was like ohhh i really like her!

and my friend Maggie was like...Andrea Bocelli is a man...
i felt so stupid! BUT in my defense, the only reason i thought that, was because i thought they were talking about
Cecilia Bartoli..yeah huge mistake..but yeah

MUHAHAH
COUNT DOWN FOR CHRISTMAS IS 4 days!!!!!!!!!!! =D

bitter sweet

I love the snow...but not when i have to shovel the driveway for an hour 1/2.
Last night was the christmas dinner with all the girls back in Troy which was sooo good
the food was so delicious!


The rest of my pictures are up on Facebook, but seriously spending time and catching up is so much fun...
but seriously this weather is driving me crazy...its ridiculous...bahhh
but christmas is so soon, and i just remember this time of year last year was a lot crazier for me. And the snow wasnt as heavy but hopefully ill see a white christmas =)

slumber

The reason why i love sleeping is because then i dont have to realize im living.
Not because im depressed, not because i'm emo but because
dreaming brings me messages..reality brings me burdens
but i guess living my dreams will be a way of deciphering myself.

i want a tear jerker movie.

Lately, i have been wanting to cry. Maybe its because i've been a little down in the dumps lately, but today and last night was okay. I am officially okay :) very content..and accepting fate as it comes. I had two bowls of spaghetti today and an apple. GOSH i love carbs...but since it is the holiday season i really need to stop hibernating at home and start being active. Although its super cold here in Michigan, im being thankful for all i have. Except this is one thing i am NOT thankful for. My brother being home. Not my brother, but the fact that he is home. I dont like it because he smokes. ONE THING I AM SO NOT FOND OF. THE OTHER PART IS. HE SMOKES IN THE HOUSE. My dads in Korea right now and my mom is at work for most of the day, so he just puffs away in his room...having the smell lingering around my door and his room smells like an ash tray. There is no controlling his actions. Honestly...HONESTLY. he is very selfish. He is the one selfish person i know in this world that does not have a guilty conscious. I sort of want him to go back to East Lansing so i can feel at peace. But that's so mean..and i feel bad for feeling this way. Oh well..ill just hace to have smoggy lungs to keep him around. Alyssa comes home tomorrow which im so excited about. She always makes me feel good. She always has a way to make me smile and entertain me. Hehe yay!

Can you believe that christmas is next week?! im so oblivious to the holidays this year. Maybe because my neighborhood is a bit lazy..there arent as many lights as there were last year...sooner or later...im scared that the holidays will be forgotten. Even during black friday..the hype was not big at all. Okay well i think im gonna do some more holiday thinking hehe (PRESENTS)...
send me an address so i can send out xmas cards =)


[says it all]

smile. youre on camera

Brooke Fraser-Love is waiting

In the autumn on the ground, between the traffic and the traffic and the ordinary sounds
I am thinking signs and seasons while a north wind blows through
i watch as lovers pass me by
Walking stories - whos and hows and whys
Musing lazily on love
Pondering you
I'll give it time, give it space and be still for a spell
When it's time to walk that way we wanna walk it well

I'll be waiting for you baby
I'll be holding back the darkest night
Love is waiting til we're ready, til it's right
Love is waiting

It's my caution not the cold
there's no other hand that i would rather hold
the climate changes, im singing for the strangers about you
dont keep time, slow the pace
Honey hold on if you can
the bets are getting surer now that you're my man

I could right a million songs about the way you say my name
I could live a lifetime with you and then do it all again
and like I can't force the sun to rise or hasten summer's start,
neither should I rush my way into your heart

what christmas is about

TWO MORE TO GO WOOO WOOO!

I've been spending more time in the library than i have in my bed for the past 3 days. BUT ITS OKAY its all worth it. HAHA plus its not like i was doing work for the past 20 minutes ive been here...i smell McDonalds and it kinda smells good...haha wow im turning into such alittle fatty..but its okay =) i like it...hehe
so one thing that bothers me about the library is the amount of asians in here. I mean yes im asian to...but its so uncomfortable for me when they all stare at me...and i DONT KNOW THEM. so stop looking..MY GOODNESS...haha especially these two guys who are sitting behind me right now i think they were laughing at me...cause i was doing photobooth...hahahah but its okay

OMGOMGOMG ENOUGH
okay no more procrastinating...BACK TO WORK SLAVE!


OMG hahahahahhahahahah i cant stop laughing..WHY?! LOL in all places that you can nap with your boyfriend...why would you do it at the business library...oh how people are funny

My Holiday List

OKAY so i just got super excited. Im sitting in Bus library yet again trying to study. I did finish my exam review for tomorrows exam and I finally got through the Hadj hehe...so here it goes this is what im going to do on break

1. Snowboarding
2. Sledding
3. Make Christmas cards and send them out
4. Go shopping for gifts!! and then wrap them =D hehe
5. Make gingerbread men
6. Bake a holiday cake
7. Ice skating
8. Hopefully a musical of some sort
9. Watch movies
10. Make hot chocolate and knit
11. Listen to Christmas Music
12. Find a job?!


i am so short. why god why...couldnt you bless me with 2-3 more inches...with that i would have been so satisfied...sigh its okay i suppose...oh well...i am who i am..atleast i can wear shirts as dresses! XP hahahahah..thats a plus and i can wear the biggest shoes in the world and i'd still be decent height...and the man im going to marry is the perfect height for me..so that makes me happy...hhahha =D okay enough of that..
(guess where i am...other than the bathroom)

STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY...BAHHH HUM BUGGGG

Good people...

I have realized that i am surrounded by beautiful, smart, amazing, and talented people. I'm so glad that there are such passionate people at this school. Today i spent time with friends and just had a good time talking about life and relationship. I can relate so much to my friends and i can relate so much to their lives even if we don't really have similar stories. Tonight was KCF banquet and surprisingly it was better than i expected. I really didnt want to go at first and i was pretty hesitant...especially because i had NOTHING to wear...but i put something together last minute..and i was pretty satisfied..so i guess it was a good idea to go, because i got to spend more time with the people i care about. I really love my friends. New and Old =D but i really am excited for the apartment next year...but then again..ill miss dorm life and not worrying about cars and bills haha ...whatev...it will be nice to have a car though...

SOOO i'm praying for good timing...
lets ship shape things up guys!


yay flashyness! hahahah

library

So last night i decided to go to the library with Josh and met up with Kirstie later...just so i could fool around and get absolutely no work done...omgoodness...im so screwed for finals...i have like no motivation haha but anyways...saw Peter and it was very interesting puhaha...we v-chatted while he was hitting the lib too...but then i decided to invite Ashley too and we all had a little reunion

I have so much to do right now...but in thirty minutes...i will be officially done with classes! YESSSS =D haha...
this year i have learned
what coffee really does to you
how much support is around me
how positive i feel about dorming
how happy i am, to be away for college
=D

but on that note...coffee
is
the
devil
two nights ago at Main...i about died from OD on caffine...it kept me pretty wired

yes thats me. holding coffee...FOR FREE =D
i got one of them from TTO (which totally sucked)
then another yummy one from spartys that jacob picked me up! woo woo go jacob

Last nights christmas dinner in shaw was so delicious! well for the most part...the best part was of course...
THE DESSERTS!!!

i got a GINGERBREAD MAN. it was so cute =D and i picked two of them up from TTO...
goal over break- make gingerbread men =D hehe


aw theyre so cute!

WELLLLLLL then enough of that....updates later!!! =)

goodbye Anp 270

one thing i pride myself on is honesty. I think im a pretty honest person.
I love genuine people..im hoping that i could be more of it
i just finished my first final. Thank you God. It's finally over.
Take home final due tomorrow...and then three more next week.
Im going to be alright. Breathe. breathe. breathe. sleep. sleep. sleep.
i need more sleep.
sigh
yeah...weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekenddddd starts tomorrow= 15 more chapters of Islam =/

last week of classes 0_0

So....classes are finished for the semester on Thursday for me. CRAZY. The semester went by so fast. I can believe how fast i adjusted to this school. I'm so worried as far as finals go, but i think ill survive...even if i do REALLY poorly in my classes...just goes to show...the probability of doing better in a smaller classroom is so true...forrrr reals. That means next semester i know how NOT to screw up. How to really spend my time. How to NOT talk on the phone so much..and be obsessed with the internet...so that means i may be blogging less :-/ who knows...but all i know is...after next week...ITS BREAK TIME BABY! woooot wooooooot =D hehe...okay so this one dress i wanted from Urban totally didnt get delivered so i have to wait for it to be refunded into my account..sighhh and i just spent 130 dollars for a traffic ticket i got. So gay. whatever ne ways..i need ajob..not like im going anywhere over break. OHHH man one month of just playing and what not :) yay!

Changes...

So far, the year has been going pretty pleasant. Thanksgiving break..was...amazing...i wish i could capture it and keep it forever. Or atleast make time stand still...but i cant...only good things can come in the future..i really need to stop thinking about the bad. So last night i started to read Job. The tests he went through...the faith that was never faltered..(well for now atleast...i only got to ch 7)...but it just made me think. God took away all he had. He took his family, his live stock, his everything..but he was still on his knees. If one thing i know is, God likes to test us. He likes to know how far our limits are and how much we're willing to with stand for him. I'm crazy for my faith. I wish i was more intimate with it...im still skimming the top of my faith..but when i take the plunge, i know ill be entranced with love. it's hard to explain to my friends about what i feel about my faith. Some people will think im crazy for believing in what i do...but its truth. To me its life. To me its air. To me its important...
I'm honestly scared for my future.
Not just the money making aspects...but my family. Where will my parents be when i get married and have children...will they still be around? Will they be working as hard as they do later on..when will they get a break...i think that my life is so chaotic and so...messed up sometimes...but i think about my parents...and wonder about how the see me...i mean
do they see that their child is going through tough times...
I really dont think it phases them.
I thought i was pretty numb, but how numb could they be?...more than me i bet...
My dad listens..but he never hears me. he never understands...but i think he doesnt want to believe that his kid could be sad. That he might have a factor into how my life truly is. I hate this pity party...i want to be happy. the best thing i can do for my family...is keep my spirits high, set aside my anger and have patience. I'm striving for patience. Ill wait. For relationships, family, and whatever is to come..just because i know it will be worth it in the end. When i have free time i want to praise him. I want to sing. I want to do so many things..but something...a little something is holding me back....i have to figure out what it is...and really wrestle with God for my faith.



its going to be a white christmas..i can feel it

I am...

so tired
so exhausted
so hurt
so excited
so present
so faded


on my knees.

Thanksgiving break

i anticipated this for so long. Having this week to myself. Waiting patiently for something amazing to happen, just because i would spend it with someone i truly care about. What sucks about this week, is that its so perfect...but so temporary. I have to wait...again...

This will make no sense to all. But i am again lost with myself only to find God again. I have never felt so much pain..happiness is included..being nervous about the future is mixed in too...i can only wait..and be thankful.

watch it.

UNIVERSAL CHILDRENS DAY

well hello there people
MY PRESENTATION IS OVER!!!!! thank you Jesus!!! and my last class got cancelled...AND my prof is letting me turn in my paper early so that means no classes TUESDAY!! the day i get to see the snowman!! :) MUHAHAHA

so it is Unicefs universal childrens day. Basically a day to celebrate children and their rights! SO GO YOU KIDS wooty!! :)
i painted the rock yesterday (well a part of it) now that i did that, i can really graduate from MSU! hahaha
=D


YAY GO UNICEF!!!




i really like the t-shirts they made this year :)

So anyways im sitting in my religion class right now...and right when i came to park my bike..i guess i got off to quickly and fell off....so embarrassing...luckily there was no one around ...

okay so ash might come up tonite..that means
PICTURES AND VIDEOS MUHAHAH
=D yay! cant wait

WOW WHATS WITH THIS SCHEDULING?!

First let me start off saying...i hate making appointments and keeping them, and the other person doesnt. it makes me so mad.
For my Com 275 class i have to sign up for these experiments in order to receive credit for the class. I signed up for one at 2-2:30 and 6-7. I left my first class of Tuesday early so i could make it on time for the experiment. I get there 5 minutes early. The classroom its held in is huge, so they separated it with these movable separator thingies...so i waited in the part where no one was in. I looked at my phone..it was before 2:00 so i thought, hearing noise from the other room that the previous experiment was running a little bit late..so i wanted 5, 10, 15 minutes...then another girl walks in and goes "are you here for the experiment" and i go yeah..and she goes "well i was here around 1:50 waiting outside, so whatevers going on in that room over there started before 2 o clock..so i am super confused by now..so the girl peeks through the crack of the separator, the TA comes out and goes are you here for the experiment and we both say yes.and she goes..well you guys are too late...and we both explain to her that we were here before 2 and she says no thats not true because she announced for everyone to come in. THAT MADE ME SO MAD. so i have to re-sign up for that experiment for another day. Then later on during the day, after my group and i worked on our presentation stuff...i go to the Oyer building which is a 10 min bike ride from my dorm..i go there...from 5:45-6:!5...no one shows up except two other students. I WAS SO MAD. So i e-mailed somebody and they gave me credit anyways for showing up. so atleast thats good. but still if you make an appointment you should try to keep it at the exact time! UGH....

SO THIS MORNING...i goto class...me and about 4 other students show up..the class was cancelled but there was no e-mail on it. I HATE THAT. i called Eunice and she told me it was cancelled becasue of some reason, but we never got notice of it through an e-mail. THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN COMMUNICATION. im telling you...this week has been pissing me off. AH.

OKay another thing...i NEVER listen to korean music...but for some reason this showed up on youtube haha and i really liked it!!!


shes a sick dancer ill give her that much fer sure

OKay.

Im so excited for thanksgiving break! One more week =D eeeeeep
so this week schedule is as follows

Today: classes, experiment 2:00-2:30, IAH until 4:20, then go work out, eat dinner, go to bible study
Tuesday: wake up, go to class at 12:40, leave class early go to experiement at 2:00-2:30, then meeting with our com 240 TA to talk about our presentation, then at 3:30ish, meet with group to film commercial for our presentation on Thursday, then 6-7 another experiement
Wednesday: Classes..start from 10:20-4:20, then write religion paper
Thursday: Presentation at 10:20, turn in paper, recitation
Friday: Write paper for IAH due on Monday, Praise night at KCF
Saturday: Finish up IAH paper, go home...
Sunday: get car, clean house, drive to Ann Arbor if i decide not to go to classes on Monday
Monday:chill
Tuesday: STEPHEN =D
Wednesday: NO CLASSES
Thursday: Thanksgiving!
Friday: shopppinggg!!!!!!


OHKAY so that was more than this week...but still haha gotta get all the crap out of the way then time to have fun with the boy and family =D

oh break...youre so close, yet so far!

oh and p.s SNOW?! wow. the flakes were super thick last night...and im freeeeeezing!

peeved.

Last night i went to bed pretty late. Not that i wanted to, but it just so happened to turn out that way...
I woke up super early this morning to go check out Ninas church. It was a Russian Christian Orthodox church, and man was it so totally different from the set up at my church. It is so formal and the singing is so ancient. The church itself was gorgeous, but some of the things that were happening during service, it was so organized and scripted. literally scripted. There was a book with the songs in it (with no music notes, just the words). Most of them came from the book of psalms. My feet were killing me by the end of the service because the whole time youre standing up. The sermon was about 3 minutes long, and the rest was all singing, kissing the cross, communion and watching the priest blessing the holy script and what not. It's so crazy to see that even though the people were Gods people, and they were still worshipping the same God...it was just so impersonal for me. But of course thats because this is the first time being exposed to such a service. Good experience though. The only work i got done this weekend was my group project. I understand that people have busy schedules, but i want to get my work done and try my best to put my effort in to the project. Maybe its because i dont want to be mean to the people but this one girl hasnt showed up to one meeting and did practically nothing for the project and yea. Sucks. But whatever, i guess its the price you pay for trying to lead the show. Anyways, i've been knitting =D haha...i just picked it up. I saw that Liz was having a lot of fun with it so i wanted to try it to. One thing that makes me really mad though is, when im napping (which i really dont mind it) the lights are on in my room..but otherwise, my roommate always turns off the light. Seriously i hate sitting in the dark with just my lamp on. It's really annoying. But what can I do. Plus that whole not eating desserts thing was so hard. I caved when i went home and ate that mochi. No more. Today was the last cookie. Starting tomorrow, its back to no more sweets. I cant do it anymore. haha, only once in awhile, but not a continuous day after day thing. BAH. okay time to go do something else instead of blogging. Have a good week guys...oh and

9 more days =D EEP! so excited!!!!

I miss traveling

Dont wanna lose you now- Backstreet Boys

I'm really starting to miss summer now, especially since the weather is getting colder and colder...
As you all probably know by now, summer was just the start of a turning point in my life. Events can and will change your life. I'm so thankful for mine. Except i feel the hurt is ten times worse now but ten times quicker to heal. I'm not really sure whats going to happen this upcoming summer but im starting to think that i shouldnt plan and just let things that are suppose to happen, happen. That might not be the best thing that i want, but i hope it will turn out to be amazing. I miss Alyssa a lot too. She's at Michigan and i tell her everything. Absolutely everything that keeps me sad or happy or just scares me in general. She seriously is one of the best friends people could ask for. Amazing at everything when it comes to putting your friendship first. Shes great =D so thank you Alyssa!

I have this thing where i like to write letters to everyone that live out of state and in-state as long as they write back. But even though i get no response back, im so happy to write to everyone because i like them to know that im still thinking about them. Because of the huge impact in my life, they were the ones to support me in physical form when i needed it. So to my brothers and sisters that i never had..thank you.

My parents have been doing a lot better as to trying to show me their love. I learned that people have different love languages and Stephen keeps on reminding me that my parents have different ones from me. They obviously love me cause theyre my parents...but sometimes i wonder, maybe they dont receive enough love from me. It's so easy to be bitter at them and never take the time to truly show that I CARE and that i want them to care, but ultimately i really DO care.
School is almost over. AH so crazy. The semester flew by so fast! theres only like 3 weeks left until finals. I'm proud to say that i survived my semester (well we'll see what i say in 3 weeks haha) but im thankful that i was brought here for whatever reason that may be. Although i do wish i were doing music :( It's okay..ill find a way...

On a side note....i've been thinking about what happened to me about over 2 years ago.
I just want to say that, i was being selfish and even though i was really really really hurt and scarred...i forgave the wrong person first. I know there shouldnt be a who should be forgiven first scenario, but at the time...i was so naive and i gave my attention to the wrong people. To the girl, who i hurt first. I'm sorry. You had every right to be mad at me. i wish i could just apologize to you in person, but i'm too embaressed. To the other girl who hurt me. Although i know you arent sorry for any of your actions and that you think youre right. I'm sorry that you have to feel the way you do. I know youre messed up...but as much as you say you dont care, you do. So i'm sorry that i have been on your mind in a negative way for so long. And to the boy. You did a lot to be a jerk, still are a jerk, and sometimes i wish you would just want to change and meet God more. But, all i can do is pray for you..and even though i forgave you and asked for forgiveness...im not going to take that back...but i had a right to be mad at you. But i asked for healing and i was blessed with it. So i'm sorry that ive been dwelling on the past. I will move on.

OKAY that was like something most of you will NOT understand...but haha whatever :)
KAY have a great weekend...!

DOOOD!

yellow submarine- Beatles

Skype is so interesting. HA...
the week is over again...that means...one day closer to THANKSGIVING =D

Grumble

If i were a boy-Beyonce
I am sitting here in Wells before class...an hour early like usual haha..i dont like walking all the way back to my dorm so i always come super early and either sit on my computer, do the reading right before class, or just sit. yeah basically be a pile. So i ordered this dress on urban Outfitters. i love it. I've been gawking at it for about a month now...it was 88 (to expensive for it) so i passed, than it went to 49 ( was willing to buy it but since shipping was expensive i wanted to buy it in the store but they didnt have it) and then it went to 29 online. SO I PURCHASED RIGHT AWAY. i got the LAST small in black of that dress. Exactly what i wanted. The reviews looked pretty good so im hoping that it will look good on. I'm still anticipating Thanksgiving Break. I just want to get my two papers out of the way and just relax. It shouldnt be too bad though. I AM REALLY HATING Michigan weather. FOR REALS. i mean if it snows, than cool..but if its raining and just gross..NOT COOL...



When i walk, i guess i kick my feet back weird somehow and always end up with wet tops. I hate it. it stains funny and my toes get super cold. So today i wore tights, and socks. The holes in the pants are in no convenience and since i have not done my laundry in two weeks...i just wore these cause the bottoms were dirty ne ways. HAHA...wow im a little bum.

Yesterday i went to shaw gym and this song came on. The one i just posted up there...i really like it! and its so true! it's one of those songs girls should listen to when they get their hearts broken...butt im not heart broken at ALL haha but i like the beat and the lyrics :)
Today is the Unicef meeting. i feel like all these clubs are just a hassle. I see them not really doing much for the poor children in Africa. I dont know i guess to me, you actually need to go there and help then yourself with your own hands...im probably just saying this cause i really want to go to Africa. hahaha =D BUT MY stomach will not stop grumbling. Im super hungry but i wont get out of class until 4:20 and its only 2:30 right now...AND i have dinner plans with liz, so i dont want to eat before she comes, otherwise ill just be too full. So maybe ill go workout before i meet up with her and kill an hour 1/2...

OKK see ya

Pictures on my wall

For Good- Wicked
--k update

so im sitting in class right now, and the co-founder/CEO of biggby coffee is here. haha he graduate from MSU and you know what i get from his presentation?! absolutely nothing...i realized that i wont be doing anything with what this class is about..well actually idk.haha i guess im just being bitter because i want to be doing music rather than this...
Anyways,Thanksgiving is so close, yet so far...i cant wait..cause then ill be able to see Stephen :) yay! im excited for that and foods...haha well that is if we do celebrate this Thanksgiving with the fam...One thing i noticed about my family is that, we dont celebrate. I'm the type that loves to celebrate everything and plan events..but its such a hassle for them..so sad
I miss church. i wish troy was here just so i could see the youth kids and go to church there with the rest of my "family" haha =D but small groups here are pretty okay...
Ohhh time has passed...
i want to go away for break. A TRIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anybody wanna do some traveling?!
NYC perhaps?! haha...
So my roommates have been kindaaa getting on my nerves. Not that they do anything directly to annoy me. But im the only one who takes the trash out and try to keep my area some what presentable and clean...the one next to me..she sees the trash pile up but does nothing about it..and shes in the room a lot so i dont understand why she cant just get up and move something...although i give her props for dusting the WHOLE room like 2 weeks ago. The other roommate does the same thing with the trash. I couldnt take it anymore so i caved in and finally took it out 2 days ago. 3 bags. yeah...not the ones the dorm gives us..but the white ones from the supermarket...bahhh

you know i complain a lot so here is some praise:
Praise God

Last night at Small groups we were talking about Wicked, so i was inspired to listen to For Good. Love this song:) ahaha i remember Sarah and Rachel singing it at Interlochen for one of their broadway songs. Ahh the memories. Speaking of, i thought i would bring up some old photos =) haha





oh how time passes...0_0

-toodles!

Snow...Should have known..

clockwatching-Jason Mraz
it is now 33 degrees outside, when 3 days ago it was almost 70 and sunny...yeah thats michigan for you...haha look at this

that was the end of last week..


This was today.

IM SO COLDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!

I had a very productive weekend, i got all my reading done for my exam tomorrow and i did the study guide 2 days before the exam, something i have not done this year...haha =) i think ill perform better on this exam than the other ones...so the other day Dan Bang and i sang together for praise night and im excited! hes a good teacher..and an awesome song writer so go check out some of his stuff....

I keep thinking about the regret i have for leaving my music path, but for now its the best possible thing. I really need to start focusing on the ministry aspect of my life. Something thats much more important than what I want in life. Hopefully i can get back into it sometime later...
so i have a confession...i've been avoiding my dads phone calls...i know thats really bad, but everytime i talk to him...i feel so much more miserable only because he is totally desensitized to how he might hurt my feelings by showing that he does NOT care about how i feel or how im doing at school...and if he does as the question "how are you doing?"..it just leads to the second part...the real reason why hes calling me..."can you do my e-mails for me.."...he never lets me finish the question by answering him...but whatever...i guess thats him..and he wont change...

The season is really starting to kick in especially now that the weather is a lot more chillier and all the holiday decorations are up on the buildings..haha..im really excited for thanksgiving break and winter break. Ahhhh cannot wait to go shopping at somerset and seeing my friends and watching xmas movies...and 100.3!!! the alllll the time christmas station.. =) hopefully i wont have anyyy flat tires this winter..(crossing my fingers and praying). Last winter i had not 1,2,or 3 flat tires...i had 7!!!!! I KNOW RIGHT..and let me tell you, those tires are not cheap...ahhh

so my roommate has this program on her computer called comic life and i love it! haha its a lot of fun! :) i could make my own comic book, but instead i play around with my pictures and do this:

okay thats enough of that...seeeya!

so bothered...and disgusted...

I just came back from the girls bathroom. Not to mention i checked out the single bathroom. Let me tell you. Anytime i go in there, there has to be a surprise left in the toilet. SICK. and its not even like your regular stuff..its like discolored, messy, gooey...idk these words are just making me want to vomit in my mouth. The point is, you would think being an all womens bathroom it wouldnt look that gross...but...it is...i wonder if the guys bathroom is that dirty too...?...hmm

on a side note, Pastor David came to KCF last nite at MSU. It was good seeing him along with other familiar faces. It was awesome, because after we all went out to eat at Dennys, pastor David was talking about THM missions this summer. He asked if would want to be involved and you know me..i love missions work. The other night i had a dream that i was going to Africa. Weird huh..haha but i have proof of it too..

October 28, 2008
oo88: what
jkainme: i really want to go to africa now

okay thats not like SOLID proof, but i did talk about it with stephen and it was so crazy to hear pastor david say that theres an affordable opportunity to go THIS summer....

ahhh i want to pray more about it...
i ahve so much reading to do
but wowww the weather is super chilly now...crazynessss
and we won against purdue! hooray =D

alrighty back to work....

4 days of sun

Broken- Lindsey Haun

Wake up to a sunny day, Not a cloud up in the sky
Then it starts to rain.
My defenses hit the ground, and they shatter all around
So open and exposed
But I find strength in the struggle
Face to face with my trouble

When you're broken, in a million little pieces
And you're trying, but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken.

Little girl don't be so blue
I know what you're going through
Don't let it beat you up.
Hitting walls and getting scars
Only makes you who you are
Only makes you who you are.
No matter how much your heart is aching
There is beauty in the breaking


[no, im not depressed...just need more encouragement than im getting]

Its Thursday

Mi pan Mi luz- marcos Witt

Im glad i can finally say its Thursday. I just have three classes and im done. Im about to go down to eat breakfast =D then friday comes (study day) then saturday (study day) and then sunday (church day)...im hoping that i will catch up on A LOT of sleep this weekend. REALLY. haha...but the weather is suppose to stay AMAZING today so im excited =D hopefully i will actually get a run in today..haha who knows maybe go out later if the weather keeps me perky.

SO AFTER MULTIPLE BREAKDOWNS TODAY....
the tears are gone...
i just gotta keep fighting you know?
so i just read that coffee has virtually like no calories and the reason that theyre so calorie filled in starbucks and stuff is because of the additives such as sugar, sweeteners, and creame. Is the coffee at state TTO just the powder and water mixed? because if it is..then YAY hahaha =D
im starting to acquire the taste..which is CRAZY since i hated coffee before


Look how happy i look! hahahha wowww its starting to kick in
OKAYY since i have NO class tomorrow
im taking a breather tonite and just chillllaxin yooo!!! :)

Final Exam of the week

kiss the rain- yiruma

I am done with my exams...FOR THIS WEEK.
more to come next...ughh UGHHHHHHHHHHH

so i got my score back from my first exam on monday. i passed. but yeah...if i dont do amazing for my final i will possibly repeat this class over. eff my life.

last nite i boycotted facebook. The real first time actually did and it lasted one night. i want to get rid of it..but...i..cant...
someone do it for me! T_T

i need peace and quiet. perhaps a nap..maybe tomorrow...
seeing as i have class until 4:20...then extra credit thing at 5:15-6...then BS at 7:30-whenever.
ah
ah
AHHH..im going to bed before midnight tonight. YES. sounds like a plan. sorry for the yuck update.
Although, the weather is quite GORGEOUS outside...thank god..otherwise i would have probably been completely miserable today

Election Day

Holiday- Green Day

So i guess i chose this song since it was political. HAHA thought it was appropriate
SOOO Guess what guys...

i rocked the vote :P
hahaha i woke up at 8:30 this morning to meet up jason, rob, and Wbin to go vote at owen. Good thing we got there early because the lines were ridiculously short :) hehe...so my first voting experience was very very good. Sad thing is i had no idea who to vote for and what the proposals were. I guess i should brush up on that stuff before i actually go make a decision...
So today at 3 pm, after my 12:40 class i have my second exam for the week. I studied last nite but fer sure i have to go over all my flash cards today. So i about 10 mins ill have a good 2 hours to memorize all of them. AHHHHH...
Oh so today after voting and such i went to the cafe to go grab something to eat since i only had special k before i left..
and guess what i got...COFFEE. Lately, i've been wanting some...i guess it all started Sunday night when i was dead tired i just needed a kicker to keep me awake but didnt get to drink any since it was so late at night...and last nite i went to bed around midnight so i had a good 8 1/2 hours of sleep, im sure i heard my alarm go off at 7 this morning but i dont recall turning it off..anyways so i fu-filled my craving by gettng some today. It wasnt amazing or anything but i guess i CAN stand drinking it now. So if anyone wants to make a coffee date...ill actually get some this time (maybe) instead of tea or hot chocolate. =D haha...but i still rather have green tea than coffee...anywhoooo..
Today is Tuesday, im not sure what else i have to do other than my classes, exam and meet my group for a bit for my project...i have to study for my Anthro Exam tomorrow...and read ALL the freaking articles..oh my goodness..but i think ill be okay...Thank God. Seriously. So last nite i had an odd dream. I was trying to figure it out all morning about what it was..but i dont recall, usually i do. HMM...once i figure it out ill post it or something.

A side note: this weather is making me so cheery. I dont care how stressed i am..and i dont care how many exams i have this week...this sunny weather/nice breeze/ calm air...ahhh makes me so smiley! =D

WAR?
i wish it would end. I really want it too...i never realized there was a war, until i found out someone i love may possibly have to be apart of it....But i guess thats not something to think about right this minute...i just want to get through this day
Hopefully the next pres will do it right and pull out...:(

Parents update:
Okay so i guess im a little better with being patient with the parents. But honestly my father drives me nuts sometime. Like last nite..it was just...arguing over something stupid. Sometimes i wonder if he hears ANYTHING i say. he yells if he doesnt get what he wants. honestly he acts like a brat sometimes but i guess thats just parents. I love them to death...but please this older generation/being foreign doesnt help the matter. Especially with the traditional stubborness...ahh i guess im just waiting for God to work in him. Most of all work in me so i can be less quick to anger...we'll see...
OKAY enough updating..i mean really there isnt anything too exciting going on...



WISH ME LUCK GUYS. I NEED IT :(

need sleep

Sunny Rain- Yiruma

Elle est tres mal =(

me so tired. T_T
so much for trying to look good on exam days haha

i've been listening to a lot of piano music lately...esp yiruma. He definitely writes a lot of good scores. I have two of his books and let me tell you they are not that easy. I take an hour to just read through it, not actually play it. haha pathetic i know...but his music makes me so relaxed...actually any soothing piano music does. I have three exams this week. And way to go Jane for putting them off until last nite. I was so tired, i just went to bed at 8..woke up at 11:15ish..didnt start studying until around midnight cause Josh and Kie stopped by...so then after that started working on my study guide and notes for COM 275. I really hope my professor curves the grade for the first one cause i failed it. YES LITERALLY FAILED. i read all the chapters, highlighted, read some articles, made flash cards....and bombed it. There is something about exams that make people so nervous and end up just doing horrible. But today i have another one in this class, and im thinking its suppose to be a lot easier. If i get anything lower than a B ill freak out only because i cant stand failure. It makes me so BAHHH you know? This past weekend for Halloween i did not celebrate with the usual dressing up and partying that i do. Instead i stayed in with great company. :) Anyways so i went back to sleep around 2:30 last night and woke up at 8 this morning to do work. Its already 9:10...i havent exactly finished memorizing everything...i should really get on that instead of updating on this thing...but honestly i really just wanted to do a quick update. I did a lot of driving this past weekend...i think im happy without a car at school...yeah it sort of sucks but honestly driving makes me nervous now. I dont know why...but yeah. Another thing is, i really want to start getting into the swing of things with just fighting and wrestling for God. I know i talk about this often, but truthfully...my life has never felt more full or complete than it did this past summer....i found purpose..but thats all God gave me. He gave me some answers and now i have to go and fully use those answers to my potential. Im scared and nervous about school. I dont want to fail. I want to be the best that i can be. I want to do so many things, but if its not his will then i have no say. correct?

Im really excited for thanksgiving break and christmas break. I just really need to get through this month. But wow school is almost half way done. CRAZY. time flies really it does. i cant believe it. But hopefully through all that fast pace...i wont forget what's truth and lies. I want my eyes opened and filled with edifying and beautiful god created things. sigh. life. you love it or hate it. I have to say i cant hate it. i have to love it. it was a gift and i love presents. haha =D

HAVE A GREAT MONDAY EVERYONE!

so today...

Lucky-Jason Mraz
I hate driving. I came to a conclusion that i hate driving. I get so tense and my back starts hurting...so right now i have this huge kink in my neck and i hate it....absolutely hate it. it kills.
Also, my feelings bahhh i think they're all over the place....i wish i could start over again..but that means i really need to cut things out of my life...like HUGE things...

sorry for the emo-ish quick update. ill do more later once i figure out whats going on in my head.

i woke up at 7am.

Defying Gravity- Wicked

I feel like i get nothing done until the last minute. So my list yesterday was:
go to my next two classes
workout
eat dinner
go to bible study
come back home and STUDY until ATLEAST 1:30 am

OKAY haha so this is what happened
go to my next classes...check
sat and watched youtube videos of britney spears (yeah i know..hahahah)
eat dinner
workout
DIDNT GO TO BIBLE STUDY
DIDNT STUDY.

watched youtube videos during workout time
ate during dinner time (of course that one i wouldnt fail..)
instead of bible study- workout
Slept at 12:30 instead of studying

that is why i am up so freaking early...i finished my proj for recitation class...
going to first class at 10:20...then religion at 12:40...

im selling my ticket to somebody today at 4:20...then off to troy it is =)
let me just tell you...once i get home im freaking jumping in bed :D or working out haha either or...
I JUST WANT TO BE A WEE BIT PRODUCTIVE TODAY. AHHH meaning i should be packing for home right now that way i wont be rushing later....oh what to do what to do...(btw i hate my com recitation class..UGH)

I was watching that yesterday cause i saw it in lizzies away message..and i cried right before my class started...i felt like an idiot but it just truly shows how people out there can be so thankful even for their loss...so god bless them :)

oh apologies for the image posted there...i wish they moved it to another part of the video so it didnt look so scary but yeah..its not scary i promise! just watch it..im sure youre to tear up :)

alrightyyy update latersss when im at home! :) have a good weekend everyone
oh ps...HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRISTEN!

why am i so freaking lazy?!

singing in the rain- singing in the rain soundtrack

WOW okay so its almost noon right now and i missed a class because of complications. UGH. i've been so tired lately. Maybe its the change in the weather. It's colder so that makes me want to bundle up in my blankets and never wake up. Last night i ordered gumbys pizza with my roommates. Yes we shared a common thing. HUNGER. but it was also 12:30 am and i was already dead tired. i ate it and went immediately to sleep. that is a big..BIG uh-oh. but its also college..and thats what you expect. but really? hahaha mannn i hate eating late. i feel so nasty in the morning..but i took my risk and now im sufficiently feeling gross but whatever. whats done is done. i guess that means i have to exercise. haha ohh my the cause and effects of things. so annoying. This weekend i am going home. HOORAH! because i guess halloween here wouldnt be too great for me. ESPECIALLY since i didnt even care to get my costume together..next year..it will be better...

I have 2 exams next week and then another 2 exams the following week, then a paper and an exam the following week after that. AND I HAVE NOT YET STUDIED. i am SOOO lazy. WHY?! WHYY....

i have no motivation. i wish i did. Compared to last year, my correlation with study habits went down the drain. I guess the busier you are the more focused you are. And let me tell you, last year i had no..absolutely NO downtime...leaving me with a couple hours to work out...study..and sleep.
GOODNESS.

today i will:
go to my next two classes
workout
eat dinner
go to bible study
come back home and STUDY until ATLEAST 1:30 am.

yeahhh we'll see if i did all those by tomorrow..haha
CIAO!

Monday...yet again

Britney Spears- womanizer

I am sitting in Anthro class right now. Yes, i am blogging while in class..=X i know..haha buttttt i brought my laptop along to this class (which i never do) because i wanted to get a reading response in... i need 15 by the end of the semester...and i have 13 already...so i figure why not knock my last two down by the end of this week...then i wont have to worry about them ever again...plus this class is pretty boring...i usually sit and write letters, thats why i usually end up sending out a million letters i realized...haha
so on facebook theres this thing called food friendzy. I'm addicted. Literally addicted. I always want to play...only to win. I never even spend the money i win on it for any food. HAHA the funny thing is i ridicule people for gambling online...but isnt it sort of like a gamble? But i suppose its not because im not betting any money on it...but i get so worked up when i lose. Its so depressing..haha

Anyways, today it was raining..bahh and its halloween this weekend. Honestly i do not want to go out..and im hoping to get a ride home on thursday so i wont have to be here for the festivities...yeah i've really changed huh...haha
really freaking boring. But i have a way better alternative waiting at home :)
SOOO lets cross our fingers and hope for the best! Have a great monday everyone!

"I want to know you more"

Love me like that- Michelle Branch

Yesterday was the KCF hayride event...all together it was pretty good, really cold and rainy but i did get a doughnut =X and some cider out of it =D today i woke up super later, around 1:15 pm. WOW im such a pile..had some lunch, hung out and played guitar! (oh yes btw i did start learning) thanks dan bang!

I WILL BECOME PRO JUST YOU WATCH
haha so my fingers are starting to feel tender, cause ive been interchanging these two chords back and forth back and forth...even though theyre really easy chords, my fingers are so small haha i need to keep working on stretching them out =)

so i had a few clips from the summer and from last nite on video that i wanted to put up in a blog..but since my roommate is always here and i feel a little uncomfortable talking to my screen in frount of her, i decided to just clump them together and make a 2 minute video...(shes cackling right now...yeah...at idk what..so interesting) haha but ne ways thats that...
ive been waiting for steveo all day to come home from his yucky field training thing...buttt its good though because that way i have more time to journal, do qt's and reflect and be thankful for what i have. I need more of that in my life. Being thankful. I just want to say that i am thankful for my parents. As much as they bind me and as much as i think they dont care...im sure deep down they do love me...i just need to find it in myself to let go and forgive them for whatever shortcomings they have..for i have them to i'm sure. Im also thankful for all the blessings poured in my life from God. Especially when it comes to good frineds, and good fellowship. Although i dont feel altogether with my new fellowship groups here, im sure in one way or another im meeting certain people, for a very good reason and for that reason, i am awaiting my plans that God has made for me. I think my mind has been elsewhere for awhile...i really need to start straightening up and getting my priorities straight. See this is what happens to me when the weather is a bit gloomy and i have free time on my hands. I start thinking and analyzing the flaws in my life..and how i should be thankful. HAHA...oh well
What else is on my mind....OH YES...Halloween. So it is a debate whether or not i want to go out. ONE thing i dont have a costume. Many ideas...BUT i just dont feel like dressing up this year. WOW i feel like i've become so boring....I've been feeling a little under the weather..my goodness...but as long as i keep drinking water and eating right i think ill be okay. Plus ive been getting crazy amouts of sleep this past weeked, so thats good. Im actually starting to get a little tired already...i feel like i need a nap..even though i've only been up for like 4 hours...haha
SOO today is the MSU VS UOFM game. To be honest. I dont think i like football. I mean people get pretty hyped about the games...but i guess i just dont enjoy watching them. I rather much watch something else...maybe tennis or like lacrosse..but not football..atleast i made some money off of my season this year =D
but in any case...GO MSU! WOOP WOOP!!!

ALL i can say is. I MISS YOU. I MISS ALL OF YOU. haha esp my out of state friends. DEARLY i do. I hope to reconnect with everyone very soon <3

MISS YOU

HAHA the apple of my eye =D

Darling____! puke puke puke

Heartbreaker-Mariah Carey

So this morning i went to the union to go buy more stamps...you know the funny thing is i send so many letters out, but rarely receive any :( sad day...
I've been obsessed with arts and crafts lately...so i've been sending out cards to out of state people haha (if you are one of those people, im sorry that my skills arent at a higher level yet...so it looks like a five year old made them) but i put a lot of time into them :) i cant wait until i get to Mary's par of craft skills. Shes amazing haha

The apartment deal is all set :) excited! me and nina are hoping that we get the bigger room but if we dont i guess it wont be so bad...
Im super bored with my hair lately, and i always find the constant need to change it..i sort of want to go lighter, and make my hair a lighter brown, but that could also turn into a bad idea..most people like it the way it is, but i on the other hand am super bored. There are no exams this coming week, thank god...but after that comes more papers,presentations, and exams. UGH i only get so lucky when i get a break to just relax. The weather has been crazy! super cold and gloomy...but none the less its fall and im loving the CRUNCHY leaves =D Today im suppose to go to the mall with Jacob. I have not been in the mall to go shopping shopping in so long...but after a while it gets kinda boring and if you think about it every week there's new stuff out. I like online shopping more these days...probably because i like the anticipation of waiting for something in the mail :) HOORAY...

My latests wants :

Photo Shop for mac

The Sims for mac

AND a lot of other junks. But these are the two things i wish i had so instead of doing my homework i can be distracted by this crap =D hahaha

NEWHOOO im sleepy...still
i took some nyquil last nite and let me tell you
i knocked out
i went to bed around 9pm...woke up once during the night to see what time it was
and then passed out until 9:30 this morning...
but this much is true...i am well rested =D

YOU GUYS NO MORE CHAIR


YAY BALL


but that chair that shaw gives us just does not cut it...it def hurts my back...so im using my exercise ball as my chair =D
this way i can bounce, do abs, and have more room!
hehe...well until i go home and bring back my white one :)

Case of the Mondays...--ON A WEDNESDAY?!

I want to hold your hand (across the universe)-T.V Carpio

So today has been very very odd...i went to bed around 12:30-1ish am last nite...woke up around 9:20....so thats almost a good 8 hours of sleep,but i was unbelievably tired. For the first time here i could not get myself to wake up. But since i knew that my friend Angela was coming to have breakfast with me before my first class, i thought i would take a quick shower and get ready to leave...so i did that...went to breakfast (THEY NEVER HAVE THE CEREAL I WANT)...i got a rare tid bit bottom of the box of honey bunches of oats...and put some granola in that. 2 boiled eggs and part of an apple. Then i went to class. I fell asleep. This is the first time this semester that i legit fell asleep. Crazyness...so then i dragged my feet all the way back to my dorm room. With only a break of 30 minutes i forced myself to go to Media class. Fortunately for me the lecture was somewhat interesting. and let me tell you it was all about media and porn. Sex the media. HAha no wonder it sparked an interest. There were some very inappropriate pictures for examples, but whatever...it was for learning. So after that lecture i left to go get some TTO. Only to realize that i did NOT have my phone.... SO i grabbed a bagel and soy milk..booked it back to the CAS building to find no phone. i was freaking out. but in the back of my mind secretly hoped it was gone so i could get a new one..(puhahah) but then later in my IAH class after being super bummed i got an email from my TA saying...
"Did someone lose a phone..it has hearts all over it with a fuzzy animal..very cute!"
So then i quickly responded..and got it back :) But now im back to my room...debating whether or not i want to skip dinner and Bible study just so i can nap a couple hours and start on my paper..which is due tomorrow...and all i can do is just sit here and punch out staplers from my mini lime green stapler i got at the career gallery...my goodness...im exhausted.
Jane-trying to look sane
Jane-being..scrunchy nose face

Jane- being 7
Jane- crazy...pretty normal..
Jane-emo.
i should get a life...and stop cam whoring..haha

OKAY thats enough of that...

panda nap time!

--------update
okay so people can rub me the wrong way...
REALLLY rub me the wrong way...
and its usually the ones that i care about the most that do it...
=T sigh...dealing with it..

I <3 SJC

Crush- David Archuleta

I love fall...so in love with fall..and so in love with the boy that is in love with god, that in return is in love with the fall too...


So serene....

So Emily, Liz and I went to beaners from 9-11 tonite, just talking. Talking about God. Talking about relationships. And most of all family. i mean this past weekend i went through a lot with that specific subject. I just met Emily this year...even though she comes from a way different background...her family life is very similar. we are all connected. God is funny. He puts us in situations and with people that were meant for us. I can already tell there is so much to unravel...i cant wait to find more about his plans for me and the people all around me.

=)

So im sitting in religion class as of now...thinking about how bland the book im reading about is...and you know what, its about christianity. Seriously, so very bland. No wonder im not doing to well in this class....The thing is i feel like i should be 4.0 this class, but im not. UGH makes me so frustrated.

Maybe the path, or major i am right now is not the one for me..i just dont know yet...bahh
I need some guidance ...

Holy Hair

Fix You- Coldplay

Okay so today i got my hair cut! eek =) haha and i got it a lot shorter than usual. Including the bangs. Those are a lot shorter also. But ne whoooo its saturday and let me tell you waking up at home on a saturday is a nice feeling...EVEN THOUGH it was freezing this morning. Nina and i went running today in the morning and i about died. i really want to get back into shape. BAH
so crazy mode is going to start to kick in. But i have a confession. I had some Mochi fried ice cream when i went to dinner for sushi tonite. I couldnt help it. I KNOW I SAID NO DESSERTS UNTIL DEC. But my excuse is Jenny. She is such a persuasive person. HAHA...but her and i share the same sweet tooth and it was a reunion so i said what the hey. BUT this doesnt mean im going to have ANY dessert at school. ITS BACK TO NO DESSERTS come tomorrow. haha so heres what the new look, looks like...
So maybe its not a HUGE diff but to me its a lot shorter and lighter. haha of course since its on my head...but the last time i got it cut it was from Jane Lee in Panama in our janky hotel with safety scissors...haha so i had to get the layers more even =) so there we go....





dinner was amazing. met up with ppaul, jenny, barron, dcho. It was so yummy!
but then i had to go to dinner again with my parents..i hated it. yeah...theres alot more to the story but i didnt say one word. nor did they even bother to say one to me. yepp. its a typical day with the parents

okay back to school tomorrow. yay


oh love...