Friday, October 31, 2008

so today...

Lucky-Jason Mraz
I hate driving. I came to a conclusion that i hate driving. I get so tense and my back starts right now i have this huge kink in my neck and i hate it....absolutely hate it. it kills.
Also, my feelings bahhh i think they're all over the place....i wish i could start over again..but that means i really need to cut things out of my HUGE things...

sorry for the emo-ish quick update. ill do more later once i figure out whats going on in my head.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

i woke up at 7am.

Defying Gravity- Wicked

I feel like i get nothing done until the last minute. So my list yesterday was:
go to my next two classes
eat dinner
go to bible study
come back home and STUDY until ATLEAST 1:30 am

OKAY haha so this is what happened
go to my next classes...check
sat and watched youtube videos of britney spears (yeah i know..hahahah)
eat dinner

watched youtube videos during workout time
ate during dinner time (of course that one i wouldnt fail..)
instead of bible study- workout
Slept at 12:30 instead of studying

that is why i am up so freaking early...i finished my proj for recitation class...
going to first class at 10:20...then religion at 12:40...

im selling my ticket to somebody today at 4:20...then off to troy it is =)
let me just tell you...once i get home im freaking jumping in bed :D or working out haha either or...
I JUST WANT TO BE A WEE BIT PRODUCTIVE TODAY. AHHH meaning i should be packing for home right now that way i wont be rushing later....oh what to do what to do...(btw i hate my com recitation class..UGH)

I was watching that yesterday cause i saw it in lizzies away message..and i cried right before my class started...i felt like an idiot but it just truly shows how people out there can be so thankful even for their god bless them :)

oh apologies for the image posted there...i wish they moved it to another part of the video so it didnt look so scary but yeah..its not scary i promise! just watch sure youre to tear up :)

alrightyyy update latersss when im at home! :) have a good weekend everyone

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

why am i so freaking lazy?!

singing in the rain- singing in the rain soundtrack

WOW okay so its almost noon right now and i missed a class because of complications. UGH. i've been so tired lately. Maybe its the change in the weather. It's colder so that makes me want to bundle up in my blankets and never wake up. Last night i ordered gumbys pizza with my roommates. Yes we shared a common thing. HUNGER. but it was also 12:30 am and i was already dead tired. i ate it and went immediately to sleep. that is a big..BIG uh-oh. but its also college..and thats what you expect. but really? hahaha mannn i hate eating late. i feel so nasty in the morning..but i took my risk and now im sufficiently feeling gross but whatever. whats done is done. i guess that means i have to exercise. haha ohh my the cause and effects of things. so annoying. This weekend i am going home. HOORAH! because i guess halloween here wouldnt be too great for me. ESPECIALLY since i didnt even care to get my costume will be better...

I have 2 exams next week and then another 2 exams the following week, then a paper and an exam the following week after that. AND I HAVE NOT YET STUDIED. i am SOOO lazy. WHY?! WHYY....

i have no motivation. i wish i did. Compared to last year, my correlation with study habits went down the drain. I guess the busier you are the more focused you are. And let me tell you, last year i had no..absolutely NO downtime...leaving me with a couple hours to work sleep.

today i will:
go to my next two classes
eat dinner
go to bible study
come back home and STUDY until ATLEAST 1:30 am.

yeahhh we'll see if i did all those by tomorrow..haha

Monday, October 27, 2008

Monday...yet again

Britney Spears- womanizer

I am sitting in Anthro class right now. Yes, i am blogging while in class..=X i know..haha buttttt i brought my laptop along to this class (which i never do) because i wanted to get a reading response in... i need 15 by the end of the semester...and i have 13 i figure why not knock my last two down by the end of this week...then i wont have to worry about them ever this class is pretty boring...i usually sit and write letters, thats why i usually end up sending out a million letters i realized...haha
so on facebook theres this thing called food friendzy. I'm addicted. Literally addicted. I always want to play...only to win. I never even spend the money i win on it for any food. HAHA the funny thing is i ridicule people for gambling online...but isnt it sort of like a gamble? But i suppose its not because im not betting any money on it...but i get so worked up when i lose. Its so depressing..haha

Anyways, today it was raining..bahh and its halloween this weekend. Honestly i do not want to go out..and im hoping to get a ride home on thursday so i wont have to be here for the festivities...yeah i've really changed huh...haha
really freaking boring. But i have a way better alternative waiting at home :)
SOOO lets cross our fingers and hope for the best! Have a great monday everyone!

Saturday, October 25, 2008

"I want to know you more"

Love me like that- Michelle Branch

Yesterday was the KCF hayride event...all together it was pretty good, really cold and rainy but i did get a doughnut =X and some cider out of it =D today i woke up super later, around 1:15 pm. WOW im such a pile..had some lunch, hung out and played guitar! (oh yes btw i did start learning) thanks dan bang!

haha so my fingers are starting to feel tender, cause ive been interchanging these two chords back and forth back and forth...even though theyre really easy chords, my fingers are so small haha i need to keep working on stretching them out =)

so i had a few clips from the summer and from last nite on video that i wanted to put up in a blog..but since my roommate is always here and i feel a little uncomfortable talking to my screen in frount of her, i decided to just clump them together and make a 2 minute video...(shes cackling right idk interesting) haha but ne ways thats that...
ive been waiting for steveo all day to come home from his yucky field training thing...buttt its good though because that way i have more time to journal, do qt's and reflect and be thankful for what i have. I need more of that in my life. Being thankful. I just want to say that i am thankful for my parents. As much as they bind me and as much as i think they dont sure deep down they do love me...i just need to find it in myself to let go and forgive them for whatever shortcomings they have..for i have them to i'm sure. Im also thankful for all the blessings poured in my life from God. Especially when it comes to good frineds, and good fellowship. Although i dont feel altogether with my new fellowship groups here, im sure in one way or another im meeting certain people, for a very good reason and for that reason, i am awaiting my plans that God has made for me. I think my mind has been elsewhere for awhile...i really need to start straightening up and getting my priorities straight. See this is what happens to me when the weather is a bit gloomy and i have free time on my hands. I start thinking and analyzing the flaws in my life..and how i should be thankful. HAHA...oh well
What else is on my mind....OH YES...Halloween. So it is a debate whether or not i want to go out. ONE thing i dont have a costume. Many ideas...BUT i just dont feel like dressing up this year. WOW i feel like i've become so boring....I've been feeling a little under the goodness...but as long as i keep drinking water and eating right i think ill be okay. Plus ive been getting crazy amouts of sleep this past weeked, so thats good. Im actually starting to get a little tired already...i feel like i need a nap..even though i've only been up for like 4 hours...haha
SOO today is the MSU VS UOFM game. To be honest. I dont think i like football. I mean people get pretty hyped about the games...but i guess i just dont enjoy watching them. I rather much watch something else...maybe tennis or like lacrosse..but not football..atleast i made some money off of my season this year =D
but in any case...GO MSU! WOOP WOOP!!!

ALL i can say is. I MISS YOU. I MISS ALL OF YOU. haha esp my out of state friends. DEARLY i do. I hope to reconnect with everyone very soon <3

Friday, October 24, 2008


HAHA the apple of my eye =D

Darling____! puke puke puke

Heartbreaker-Mariah Carey

So this morning i went to the union to go buy more know the funny thing is i send so many letters out, but rarely receive any :( sad day...
I've been obsessed with arts and crafts i've been sending out cards to out of state people haha (if you are one of those people, im sorry that my skills arent at a higher level it looks like a five year old made them) but i put a lot of time into them :) i cant wait until i get to Mary's par of craft skills. Shes amazing haha

The apartment deal is all set :) excited! me and nina are hoping that we get the bigger room but if we dont i guess it wont be so bad...
Im super bored with my hair lately, and i always find the constant need to change it..i sort of want to go lighter, and make my hair a lighter brown, but that could also turn into a bad idea..most people like it the way it is, but i on the other hand am super bored. There are no exams this coming week, thank god...but after that comes more papers,presentations, and exams. UGH i only get so lucky when i get a break to just relax. The weather has been crazy! super cold and gloomy...but none the less its fall and im loving the CRUNCHY leaves =D Today im suppose to go to the mall with Jacob. I have not been in the mall to go shopping shopping in so long...but after a while it gets kinda boring and if you think about it every week there's new stuff out. I like online shopping more these days...probably because i like the anticipation of waiting for something in the mail :) HOORAY...

My latests wants :

Photo Shop for mac

The Sims for mac

AND a lot of other junks. But these are the two things i wish i had so instead of doing my homework i can be distracted by this crap =D hahaha

NEWHOOO im sleepy...still
i took some nyquil last nite and let me tell you
i knocked out
i went to bed around 9pm...woke up once during the night to see what time it was
and then passed out until 9:30 this morning...
but this much is true...i am well rested =D



but that chair that shaw gives us just does not cut def hurts my im using my exercise ball as my chair =D
this way i can bounce, do abs, and have more room!
hehe...well until i go home and bring back my white one :)

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Case of the Mondays...--ON A WEDNESDAY?!

I want to hold your hand (across the universe)-T.V Carpio

So today has been very very odd...i went to bed around 12:30-1ish am last nite...woke up around thats almost a good 8 hours of sleep,but i was unbelievably tired. For the first time here i could not get myself to wake up. But since i knew that my friend Angela was coming to have breakfast with me before my first class, i thought i would take a quick shower and get ready to i did that...went to breakfast (THEY NEVER HAVE THE CEREAL I WANT)...i got a rare tid bit bottom of the box of honey bunches of oats...and put some granola in that. 2 boiled eggs and part of an apple. Then i went to class. I fell asleep. This is the first time this semester that i legit fell asleep. then i dragged my feet all the way back to my dorm room. With only a break of 30 minutes i forced myself to go to Media class. Fortunately for me the lecture was somewhat interesting. and let me tell you it was all about media and porn. Sex the media. HAha no wonder it sparked an interest. There were some very inappropriate pictures for examples, but was for learning. So after that lecture i left to go get some TTO. Only to realize that i did NOT have my phone.... SO i grabbed a bagel and soy milk..booked it back to the CAS building to find no phone. i was freaking out. but in the back of my mind secretly hoped it was gone so i could get a new one..(puhahah) but then later in my IAH class after being super bummed i got an email from my TA saying...
"Did someone lose a has hearts all over it with a fuzzy animal..very cute!"
So then i quickly responded..and got it back :) But now im back to my room...debating whether or not i want to skip dinner and Bible study just so i can nap a couple hours and start on my paper..which is due tomorrow...and all i can do is just sit here and punch out staplers from my mini lime green stapler i got at the career exhausted.
Jane-trying to look sane
Jane-being..scrunchy nose face

Jane- being 7
Jane- crazy...pretty normal..
i should get a life...and stop cam whoring..haha

OKAY thats enough of that...

panda nap time!

okay so people can rub me the wrong way...
REALLLY rub me the wrong way...
and its usually the ones that i care about the most that do it...
=T sigh...dealing with it..

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I <3 SJC

Crush- David Archuleta

I love in love with fall..and so in love with the boy that is in love with god, that in return is in love with the fall too...

So serene....

So Emily, Liz and I went to beaners from 9-11 tonite, just talking. Talking about God. Talking about relationships. And most of all family. i mean this past weekend i went through a lot with that specific subject. I just met Emily this year...even though she comes from a way different background...her family life is very similar. we are all connected. God is funny. He puts us in situations and with people that were meant for us. I can already tell there is so much to unravel...i cant wait to find more about his plans for me and the people all around me.


So im sitting in religion class as of now...thinking about how bland the book im reading about is...and you know what, its about christianity. Seriously, so very bland. No wonder im not doing to well in this class....The thing is i feel like i should be 4.0 this class, but im not. UGH makes me so frustrated.

Maybe the path, or major i am right now is not the one for me..i just dont know yet...bahh
I need some guidance ...

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Holy Hair

Fix You- Coldplay

Okay so today i got my hair cut! eek =) haha and i got it a lot shorter than usual. Including the bangs. Those are a lot shorter also. But ne whoooo its saturday and let me tell you waking up at home on a saturday is a nice feeling...EVEN THOUGH it was freezing this morning. Nina and i went running today in the morning and i about died. i really want to get back into shape. BAH
so crazy mode is going to start to kick in. But i have a confession. I had some Mochi fried ice cream when i went to dinner for sushi tonite. I couldnt help it. I KNOW I SAID NO DESSERTS UNTIL DEC. But my excuse is Jenny. She is such a persuasive person. HAHA...but her and i share the same sweet tooth and it was a reunion so i said what the hey. BUT this doesnt mean im going to have ANY dessert at school. ITS BACK TO NO DESSERTS come tomorrow. haha so heres what the new look, looks like...
So maybe its not a HUGE diff but to me its a lot shorter and lighter. haha of course since its on my head...but the last time i got it cut it was from Jane Lee in Panama in our janky hotel with safety scissors...haha so i had to get the layers more even =) so there we go....

dinner was amazing. met up with ppaul, jenny, barron, dcho. It was so yummy!
but then i had to go to dinner again with my parents..i hated it. yeah...theres alot more to the story but i didnt say one word. nor did they even bother to say one to me. yepp. its a typical day with the parents

okay back to school tomorrow. yay

oh love...

Thursday, October 16, 2008


I believe- Bethany Joy Lenz

HELLO PEOPLE the long awaited VLOG with a tour of my room =D haha except there is a lot done to it now so it doesnt look quite as messy/unorganized. So far college has been great besides the fact that its getting cold here! I am going home for the weekend tomorrow which makes me super excited for one thing...ALYSSA RUIZ. YES HER =D hehe. i havent seen my best friend in like 2 months and shes going home, im going home, sarah and nina are also going home...eeep!
Speaking of Nina. SHE(COUGH COUGH) and i decided to room together next year at Beachum woods. or however you spell it. With another girl named Courtney and Lindsey. Rent is pretty cheap and im super excited to be living off campus. It's crazy though cause last year i lived in an apartment, this year in the dorm, next fall in another apartment. All 3 diff places. so crazy. But that is the type of person i am. I cant be in one place for too long or i start getting antsy. hehe ne ways.

This vlog. Let me tell you. It started sometime in september and ended in september, but i just have come across it and since i am doing nothing since my two midterms are over for this past week i decided to enlighten my readers out there =) so its almost been a month now since i last looked at it. So my bad! haha so thats why i talk about it being hot there and stuff.

oh p.s i talked about doing well on those exams...yeah NEGATIVE T_T

Oh yes another thing. I braided my hair tonite. haha and i think i look hilarious so im going to show you a picture of it

Even funnier thing is....this past weekend i pimped out my phone!
haha the once scratchy NAST phone has a mask now :) aww with a little fat mochi thingie that i have no idea what it is. hahaha but its cute i suppose

i went to the MSU career gallery, basically a place where 300 plus businesses come and you interview with them one on one for about 2 minutes. so i handed my resume over to about 7 companies. Like GE, 3M, Stryker and other smaller companies. Ashame though, since im only a sophomore theyre not really taking me seriously but the upside to that trip was FREE STUFF! like tea, candy, gum, stapler, pens, coffee mug, body wash, usb stuff and other crap hahah =D i love free things. But then again i am paying all this money to be here so i suppose im paying for the experience hehe

sooo thats all for now...will update sometime when im home
but boy oh boy



SO this is what the end result was =D hehe

yay hair!
man for some reason...this weekend home feels awesome =D

Tuesday, October 14, 2008


Black Bird- Beatles

I am so stressed. I put everything last minute. SO STRESSED. AHHH

update later...during a break

Monday, October 13, 2008

Hot N Cold-Katy Perry

so i said i would make this a gooood update. So here it goes :)
This past week/weekend i did a lot. Good times. Good memories. I could say that i have eaten out the most this past week which has made my body a bit confused and so in result, i have not gone to the bathroom consistently everyday...if you know what i mean. haha. I also watched SEX AND THE CITY. AGAIN. but this time in the comforts of a home. I could say that is one of the best chick flicks i have ever seen aside from how to lose a guy in 10 days. It had such a real twist. I think boys would like it...if it werent so hyped up to be for the "materialistic" girl. But i think its funny/emotional/full of sex. hahaha which i mean im not saying I like it..but im sure if youre a guy YOULL like it. hahaha ne wayssss moving on...
Midterms are coming up already. WOW the time goes by like woah. But im excited to be getting closer to graduation. i'm pretty happy at this point for being at Michigan State. Oh the weird choices/opportunities presented to you. So thank you my devoted readers (Bidnam) hahahahahha and OTHERS. PLEASE BE OTHERS =D even though my life isnt very intersting to look at i do have a lot to say time to time.

I have a friend. Shes pretty. talented. passionate. strong. But why is it that she feels so down. (NO I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT MYSELF :P....seriously) i know one of the problems she has, has to do with the male subject. One thing is true. Shes gorgeous..any guy would like her for her looks...her personality is a plus...but she tells me she gets "screwed" over by every guy. They have her for a little bit but then drop her like a hot that brings up my question. Do guys go for the really attractive girl off hand and then drop them for another hot girl? I find this scenario so weird. I cant fathom why she is single when she really wants to be in a relationship. I dont think its her being way to picky...but the ones that she does pick..i mean their good looking guys, maybe not to smart, nice, funny, outgoing...but what is missing. Every time i think of her i think of how she could do so much better for herself. She doesnt have to feel insecure about herself....i think she needs a someone..a mate...a "helper" from god. We shouldnt be choosing the ones to love...but really God should be doing all the work. And in the end we will always end up with the ones that fit us the most.

That aside...
I cant wait for the holidays!
Sweetest day is OCT 18
Thanksgiving is NOV 27
WINTER BREAK!!! idk sometime in dec
and then...the big one here..

CHRISTMASSS!!!!!!! December 25th :)

i love holdays

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Shadowfeet-Brooke Fraser

Helllooooo dearrrrrysss
i am just sitting here enjoying the view...hasn't the weather been gorgeous! absolutely wonderful. My weekend has been quite eventful...i've been doing so much to keep myself busy and enjoy myself. So the other day i did a big no no and i felt so bad about it. It had to do with my car. And i havent told my parents the FULL story about it yet...but im just going to let them enjoy their day and the nice weather...eek but once they find out what i going to be dead. LIKE THIS BLOGGER. i dont think i have any readers anymore...due to my lack of updating...MY APOLOGIES...but college is a doozy and it takes so much time and energy...bahhh ne ways till next time...ill put up a very GOOD blog =D <3


Monday, October 6, 2008

Faithful- Brooke Fraser

Alright so its already the 7th week of school. Almost halfway there. Time goes by quickly dont you think? I'm just scared to wake up and find myself already graduated from college, married, with kids, doing god knows what or a job, and either enoying life or hating it. Scary picture dont you think?
I have always imagined myself being in college. Naive i know. But really even though time is moving quickly, just thinking about what im going to eat at the cafe today always crosses my mind. Or that next big exam i have, am i ready for it? (The answer to that question is NO haha) What shoes am i going to wear it going to rain? It's not something i should worry about or put too much thought into...but the everyday things i have the everyday thoughts that i have...its truly a blessing.
Lately at school in Lansing i havent been doing the usual things that i would have if i were in Troy. For one thing i dont think i would be as focused in school. My parents never have pressured me to do well in school. I guess thats why i want to try so hard. There is no one really counting on me or putting pressure on me to do the very best...but i want to do it anyway..just so i can make myself proud. I guess thats all that matters. But then then issue of my parents comes along.
For the past 19 years of my life (or that of what i can remember of it) i have been somewhat neglected by my parents. Yea i know i cant really complain..but here it goes...

I'm sure some of you know that i was a very spoiled child. I figure it because my parents were never around when i was growing up. The taking care of the children business was mainly taken over by my grandparents. My parents had to work a lot and they just never stuck around for anything important to me. My father has never been to one dance picture taking, one piano recital, one dance recital, and singing competition. That was mostly my mother. He's never been to a school graduation, a play opening, or parents event at church. I guess all i wanted him there in physical form. So now whenever he tries to convey any love towards me...i feel uncomfortable showing any back. Selfish i know...but its my initial reaction. As far as my mom goes. I feel as though she acts a little selfish towards me about what she wants. She never listens to what i want in my life or the things that God has put in front of my path. Its more of a laugh it off deal..where she listens, laughs, and then talks about how im going to go back to music because thats what SHE feels is best. No mother. It's not. I had to sacrifice it but i dont think she gets the point of that. So there i goes. My parents. The ones that i love..but resent. I really gotta work on on my better to them. I dont know what i would do without them...i mean REALLY gone...theyre not here now..but atleast if i call them theyll pick up the phone...

Alrighty back to studying
BAHH...i wish this week were over.