Dedication

Falling Slowly-Glen Hansard/Marketa Irglova
I am obsessed with this song. So beautiful..and i like harmonizing with the girl =]
so lets see, i havent written in a couple days...but let me tell you..ITS SUMMMMMMERRRR! and no more school until September, so that is quite exciting =)
so yesterday i went up with a couple friends from Bible Study to Mackinac island, only to find out that its still off season and they officially re-open everything on May 1st...so to make the 4 hour trip somewhat worth it..we went to the UP, and it was beautiful..so serene and peaceful. It was fun.




I'm working more which is always a good and bad thing. Good because im making more money...but Bad because i feel like im not actually getting any relaxation...I guess this post is about me and my dedication towards the things i watn in my life. More and more i think about the future..im really scared. Not only about finding a life partner (which im still to young to think about i think) but more so about my career. what am i going to do? What do i want to do? What is reachable..and what is not reachable..i guess its something im coping and fighting against at this point. Ideally i want to become a well known artist for music or whatever..travel the world see different things, perform in different countries/languages...but i think i want to do more behind the scenes sort of a thing. Producing...recording..we'll see, i might really look into that this summer...as for now, im just enjoying the sun (BUT FREEZING TEMPS) and having my friends home for break...another thing that has been on my mind is my parents. Sometimes i wonder why they tell me things that i dont want/need to know. Honestly, i feel like they confide in me certain things that people my age shouldnt have to know...Makes me a little upset, i mean really i already have enough stress and pressure put upon me...but when my parents add more without even realizing they do it..i just get so angry. For example, my dad calls me to tell me his problems his burdens...puts that all on me and i mean yeah i want to be there for them to talk to...but i am not the right person to figure out their problems. It just really stresses me out. ugh.

well thats all i have time for now...
till next time....

<3

Closure

im yours- Jason Mraz
Yesterday was a pretty hectic day. I almost missed my jury (Singing final) and it was at 2:50. I woke up at 2:10 and was like..HOLY..so i got dressed ran to my car, drove as fast as i could to school..ran to the lab to make copies of my music(which i forgot to do)..the copier wasnt working so i was like crap im going to be so late...so then i ran down to the secretarys office and asked her make me copies, and while she was doing that i had to fill out my jury forms (which i had to fill out 4)...i never wrote so fast in my life...i had 5 mins left before my Jury, so i ran down to room 134 to discover i was not on the list..and that i was at the wrong place for jury..so i was like wtf..so i ran up a flight of stairs to the recital hall...and i just made it in the nick of time...i gave my music and forms and went in. I think i did okay, i didnt forget any of the text but my voice was definately not warmed up so i guess i didnt sing to my full potential..that took about 5 minuts and then i was done for the day. I have two more finals left. My business calc final which i can see myself totally failing and my Aural Skills (ear training) exam. ughhh sucks
after tomorrow...im free from school...well atleast for about 3 months..ughh

I really hope my GPA didnt diminish a ton :( but im afraid that is what has happened..sigh...
in the end it really doesnt matter right? but im so worried about my grades :(

So my schedule for the summer thus far:

Chicago: May 14-19
Panama Missions: June 21-July 4
Angelas Wedding: July 25-27
August Missions: June 6-13

In between then i am going to work go on little mini get away with friends. :)
i need money...any of you know anyone in need of a sitter?

Im so pleased with the weather, i probably have mentioned that in every post...but gosh going from like the most bipolar weather to great consistant weather..is glorious
ahhhhhh yay =D
-----------------------------------EDIT
so its about 5:30 in the morning...and im studying this for my math final at 8...and let me tell you
i think i have soaked in about 1/4 of the whole exam...im so effed
on a side note, i decided that i dont care if im a selfish person. Its to hard an painful to think of anyone else..that being stated..i decided the single life is a much more productive lifestyle for me. No distractions, no commitment...just me and the open road. yepp..so hopefully that will influence some of the changes that i will be making this summer..

GOALS:
1.) pass all classes..
2.) learn about 10 new songs this summer to add on the repretoire list
3.) Learn guitar
4.) sight read better for piano
5.) LEARN ALL CHORD PROGRESSIONS
6.) learn some jazz improv

okay for all of those who have no idea what im talking bout..dont worry about it
but for those of you who do know what im talking about
care to join in all the fun?! haha..yeahh ...fun to me..kinda

Tops down

Hear You me- Jimmy Eat World

So can you believe that Michigan has had a persistent streak of nice weather?! ahhh..i absolutely love it. I drove with the top down all weekend. absolutely wonderful. So i've had something itching at me for the past week and a day.

Am i Selfish?

Well i mean all human beings are in a sense but am i so selfish that people start to know it? Well i guess just one in particular. No matter what i do, it always ends up at the root of me doing things that i want to do and not caring or considering the indirect effects on someone else. I know thats a bit general but i guess it just sucks when i know that i can fix the flaws, but i just choose not to. That in itself makes me sound even more selfish..sighh...what to do ..what to do

Up to this point

Cross my heart- The rocket summer
As far as life goes, i think i have a pretty good one. I was never really denied of something from my parents and with that said, Im lucky to have two parents...i have only witnessed one person from my family pass away and im attending school. I am lucky and more than lucky..im thankful. :)
Today when i was walking out of Elliot hall i looked to my right and saw this...

Let me tell you, i think cigarettes are probably one of the most disgusting things made on this earth. You dont understand how much i hate cigarettes. Yes i admit i have done hookah and an occassional smoke when i was drinking...but i honestly do hate them. The smell, the affect it has on your body, and how people wont stand to spend their money on something more useful. Cigs are an exspensive interest. Anyways now that i established what i hate the most...lets go on to other things that i do NOT like:
1. two-facers
2. disloyal friends
3. intentional liars
4. cheaters
5. experation dates
6. inconsiderate people
7. no common sense
8. when my flip flops give me blisters
9. a dirty room
10. dust
11. annoying situations
12. wearing socks in the summer
13. quitting something already started
14. Spending money that i made then realizing i dont have any left..haha
15. Medicine
16. wet bottom pants
17. cant finding my keys

mm thats all for now i think...

My friends are great. I love them. Its hard to stay close as we're seperated...i am a firm believer in out of sight, out of mind..but with my friends its different. Even when they're so far away...i still feel the same closeness with them and it makes me happy to know that our friendships will be able to last as long as we keep eachother updated as much as possible.
The best memories come from when youre with your friends and i can honestly say that up to this point in my life..I recall every happy great moment with some of my friends. I think thats the type of love you cannot get anywhere else.
I have had two jobs in my life. The first one was at The Oakland Medical Center. That job was okay..paid well, good manageable hours, but the most boring part of my week. Literally all i did was refile a bajillion files..looked up patient charts...ughh that is so not me. Currently im working at pump it up and for now i am satisfied. For those of you who dont know what it is, its basically a facility with two arenas filled with infltable structures (moonwalks and such). It's fun and i like to play with kids..the hours are decent and the pay is decent..but i want to work in a field that will be beneficial for my future.
cool right? ha...
Today i have to work, and its suppose to be 77 degrees outside...the weather is definately a happy one. My mom seems happier (she was a hermit in the cold days) and i feel like everyones moods and spirits have just lifeted up a bit. Its beautiful.

I talked to my mom about relationships yesterday. I told her how i was possibly ready to date again and she agreed that my age is the right one to start dating and experiencing different things before marriage comes. But honestly at this point i dont want to think about marriage. I just want to let it flow and think about it when it comes. I like being a kid...its great..i have only 1 1/2 years left of my teen stage. Gotta savor it for all its worth :)

Anyways...i feel like this post was a little dry..sorry all, but when something juicy or cool comes along ill be sure to post!
<3 have a great weekend. Enjoy it.

Good weather = ALWAYS a good mood

First Single- The Format
So i went running this morning and let me tell you, i have not done that in about a year...waking up early is definately difficult..but to do it to exercise..man i really didnt want to but im so happy that i did...I found that i run a lot better listening to Opera than to other secular music. Weird right? but something about it made me really calm and energized..pfft im such a loser...haha..Finals next week and im super nervous..some of these exams will def break or make my gpa..so we'll see how determined i am. I'm thinking about quitting my job, or atleast finding a different one..im not too sure yet..
Ill be a bit busy this week, so ill give everyone an update when i can!

Patty Griffin- Burgundy Shoes

So i decided to share my love for music by posting at least one song per post (AND YES YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO THEM). Today was pretty uneventful. I had my Theory exam this morning, and let me tell you..i feel like theory should count as a math elective. Seriously it's just as important and equivalent to all the factors of math. You have to count scale degrees, you have to figure out all the rules for figured bass in order to make a smooth voice leading melody, and you have to fill in all the chords. UGHHHH MY BRAIN HURTS. CURSE THEORY. seriously :( As far as love life goes..haha i dont think ill be falling in love for a really long time, but i am currently almost off market! which is crazy to think about considering, i never take guys seriously..but we'll see how this goes. If it doesnt work out..then im just going to accept the fact that i wasnt meant to be with anybody..and that god has made me an independent person..and i think ill be okay with that..well ha...:P
Last night i went running and i ended up going for about 5 miles on the treadmill...i wish i could do that on the sidewalk with no problem..but since its so much easier to do it on a machine..i might as well just start running outside..and the weather is so nice out, i might as well embrace the short few months of sun in Michigan. So yesterday i got the final answer about Panama missions. I am indeed going. Now i am so very nervous, anxious, and excited. This summer will be by far the most interesting.
Living with my cousin has been cool too. She moved in for a little bit while she was sorting out some things with her parents..but i knew she would go back haha..but i forgot how much i love spending time with family. Even though my parents drive me completely insane..i cant deny my love for them.
I'm a bit random and out of order when it comes to thought processes so if i ever rant on about something and then totally go to something else..my bad..disregard my bipolar writing..haha

well i am going to my last class of the day so ill update more later
:)

35 Degrees and Sunny

Good Morning all!
Last night i went to bed around 9:30 and woke up at 9:15 this morning....
Almost 12 hours of sleep...which was amazing! i woke up really satisfied..I grabbed a HUGE bowl of Kashi cereal(my last two boxes in fact) and scarfed it down. Gosh i love cereal and skim milk. But the truth of it is..im giving it up..i think the amounts of cereal and milk i consume are at an ultimate high of unhealthy. I eat about 5 bowls on average a day. Im addicted, and to stop that addiction i have none left to eat. Its like cigarettes..after that one last box you have...just cant go out and buy more..haha im weird i know..but i cant help my guilty pleasures..NEW YORK-I miss it so much..you dont even understand..This was Jewlies Dorm Room view...amazing right..i wish i could wake up to the city every morning..I guess thats one of the beauties of New York. It wasnt built to be pretty..but just the culture and atmosphere is so loose and unique that everyone has a story of their own inside the city. Everyone walks around with an ipod. Literally Everyone. When i was walking alone on Friday night...i wanted a way to look less touristy just in case someone wanted to scam me..ha who knows..but i looked around and everyone had these white earphones..so i reached inside my purse and grabbed mine out..and started rocking out to the beatles...it was perfect. The music, the surroundings, the noise...i just soaked it in all there at that moment..Central Park..it's everything its made up to be<3 The weather was perfect. Even if i dont end up going to NY for school..i think ill be okay with it. Besides the fact that i totally bombed my audition..im just happy i got to go. I definately needed some R&R. I came home and felt so empty. LIke i had something taken away from me. I guess i really did like the unusual non-comfort level that i had in the City. Everything was so spontaneous and thats just the type of person that i am. Like in Breakfast at Tiffanys when Audreys character was explaining to her ex-husband..."you just cant tame a wild thing". Thats how i feel...my personailty is just something that cant be put on paper. I like new people. I love new environments. I love to laugh, talk, and just sitting on my own..listening to music doing whatever..its just the best feeling in the world.
Now that i did have my amazing weekend get away..its back to being a student here in good ol Michigan. This week is my last official full scheduled filled days of the semester as a Freshman. I must say it was a bumpy ride but i got through it. College is definately a lot better than High School and i did enjoy most of my time this past year. Although my schedule was pretty effed up when it came to classes, work, church, and sleep..i did manage to organize everything out. Next week is the start of Finals. I need to do well...because most of my grades are riding on these exams..so we'll see how prodcutive ill turn out to be. I am already looking forward to Summer. I cant wait until all my friends come home and all the mini-get aways ill have. Not to mention Panama Medical Missions and Mexico Missions. That will be quite an experience for me. Here's a preview of what ill be soaking in: I know theres a lot more to missions..but when i looked at this little boys feet my heart just broke. He played in these shoes..ha theyre barely even foot wear! I guess since i am apart of a socially materialistic world..this kind of image would catch my eye. The spiritual aspect of Missions is beyond amazing to.. I probably have gotton the feeling of being blessed more on missions than i ever have had at a retreat or just on my own Quiet time. I am definately looking forward to being in Panama and helping people along with Mexico. I cant wait.
So most of you have still yet to see my apartment, well here it is...(these were taken back in september, so there is definately a lot added to the place)



Living in my apartment has been really good to me. Some of you may think that it isnt worth it, considering i live in Troy origionally..which is about 15 minutes away...but with my crazy schedule...im so thankful that i did get this place. I have a roommate and she has the master bedroom..with a walk in closet and bathroom attatched...i lost a coin toss which lead me to have outside closet space..an outside bathroom BUT WITH A TUB...and a smaller room..but i am quite content :)
Well thats all for now! hope you guys enjoyed =D

Hellooooooooo Darlings

So i am starting a new blogger, since i have nothing really better to do in my life
actually im super busy but i love keeping people updated..and such...

I just came back from New York and i absolutely loved it. I dont think i could have had a better time. Thanks to of couse the most adorable person ever, Jewlie. She was such a great host and made sure i was comfortable. Crazy too, cause Friday was the first time meeting her and we got along so well..
My audition went okay. maybe even a little less...
Out of all my songs of german, french, italian, and english..the most trouble i have had is with the ENGLISH...its like wtf! right?!
so i messed that song up because im an idiot and repeated the same verse twice...totally stopped in the middle of it and "oops sorry" and went on...

I guess whatever happens, happens...theres no fighting fate.

All i know is...i LOVE New York. It amazes me how such a big city can have quite an effect on me. I know from being there on my own...yes on my own...Jewlie had prior plans before my arrival which was totally cool...it gave me a chance to explore and find things on my own...i was walking around on 2nd ave and went into a couple stores...it was about 9:30ish when i met back up with her and went out to Hookah with some of the girls on the floor..it was fun. Im so glad that i got along with everyone. On saturday after my audition i met up with Jeehoon for lunch. He looks quite adjusted to the city, as was i in the matter of a couple hours :) lunch was great...we jabbed on about life and school..good company=good day. Then i went out with Jewlie again..she took me to the subway and Time square...it was so much fun. Central Park was beyond gorgeous and i had such a great time walking around and talking.
Anyways my plan is to do everything i want to do and not regret it. Im just satisfied knowing that i had the opportunity to even audition after being heard on my CD (which was totally not quality...and im not being modest). Today i recieved an e-mail through Oakland saying that there is some kind of a "threat" to the University (a repeat of Virgina Tech Massacre...uh SCARY?!)..and thats its being shut down for tomorrow meaning i get to sleep in and not go to any classes...but in return be one day less prepared for my finals next week...like wtf, are people crazy?!...seriously what is it with people wanting to hurt others for something so unfair...idk..but whatever it is...its not funny.

Im ooberly tired..and want to go to bed since i had such an early flight this morning...tomorrow will be a fun filled blog day so be prepared all! :) GNITE MICHIGANNNN


<3
-Janeeee