I miss traveling

Dont wanna lose you now- Backstreet Boys

I'm really starting to miss summer now, especially since the weather is getting colder and colder...
As you all probably know by now, summer was just the start of a turning point in my life. Events can and will change your life. I'm so thankful for mine. Except i feel the hurt is ten times worse now but ten times quicker to heal. I'm not really sure whats going to happen this upcoming summer but im starting to think that i shouldnt plan and just let things that are suppose to happen, happen. That might not be the best thing that i want, but i hope it will turn out to be amazing. I miss Alyssa a lot too. She's at Michigan and i tell her everything. Absolutely everything that keeps me sad or happy or just scares me in general. She seriously is one of the best friends people could ask for. Amazing at everything when it comes to putting your friendship first. Shes great =D so thank you Alyssa!

I have this thing where i like to write letters to everyone that live out of state and in-state as long as they write back. But even though i get no response back, im so happy to write to everyone because i like them to know that im still thinking about them. Because of the huge impact in my life, they were the ones to support me in physical form when i needed it. So to my brothers and sisters that i never had..thank you.

My parents have been doing a lot better as to trying to show me their love. I learned that people have different love languages and Stephen keeps on reminding me that my parents have different ones from me. They obviously love me cause theyre my parents...but sometimes i wonder, maybe they dont receive enough love from me. It's so easy to be bitter at them and never take the time to truly show that I CARE and that i want them to care, but ultimately i really DO care.
School is almost over. AH so crazy. The semester flew by so fast! theres only like 3 weeks left until finals. I'm proud to say that i survived my semester (well we'll see what i say in 3 weeks haha) but im thankful that i was brought here for whatever reason that may be. Although i do wish i were doing music :( It's okay..ill find a way...

On a side note....i've been thinking about what happened to me about over 2 years ago.
I just want to say that, i was being selfish and even though i was really really really hurt and scarred...i forgave the wrong person first. I know there shouldnt be a who should be forgiven first scenario, but at the time...i was so naive and i gave my attention to the wrong people. To the girl, who i hurt first. I'm sorry. You had every right to be mad at me. i wish i could just apologize to you in person, but i'm too embaressed. To the other girl who hurt me. Although i know you arent sorry for any of your actions and that you think youre right. I'm sorry that you have to feel the way you do. I know youre messed up...but as much as you say you dont care, you do. So i'm sorry that i have been on your mind in a negative way for so long. And to the boy. You did a lot to be a jerk, still are a jerk, and sometimes i wish you would just want to change and meet God more. But, all i can do is pray for you..and even though i forgave you and asked for forgiveness...im not going to take that back...but i had a right to be mad at you. But i asked for healing and i was blessed with it. So i'm sorry that ive been dwelling on the past. I will move on.

OKAY that was like something most of you will NOT understand...but haha whatever :)
KAY have a great weekend...!